How many lies have you believed today? Lying really bothers me. I hate it, honestly, and I do consider it evil. So how many lies have you believed today?

I read my devotion this morning and immediately turned to my husband and told him how convicted I felt. I mean to my soul. I went from reading about mothering young children and wondering what I could possibly get from that at this stage of life to feeling 100% guilty. I had failed. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I've read it, prayed it, repeated it, and here I was feeling like a failure in it. Had I raised God-following adults? I felt I hadn't. I felt I hadn't prayed the right prayers. My children are not where I want them to be in their relationship with the Lord. I was a rule follower. I dealt with children who lived the "Disney dad syndrome" so I thought that when they were with me, I had to provide the stability and consistent structure. Now I was reading these precious words and feeling I had failed.

My husband in his kind and loving way, totally rebuked my claims of failure. He reminded me of how many times he had heard me pray, "Lord, please help me to raise _____ to be the (man or woman) You want (him or her) to be." He told me he couldn't count how many times he had heard me pray that very prayer, and I know he heard it, because as he said those words, I could finish what was coming. I know I have written it in my prayer journal. Those words along with, "Lord,, show me how to be the mother You need me to be to parent these precious children You have loaned me." My husband also reminded me that I had the blessing of leading both my children to Christ, I was able to volunteer year after year in teaching their Sunday school classes and their VBS. He reminded me of how many times we have hidden God's Word in our hearts through song, dance, and praying together. His simple reminders of the prayers I have prayed were enough to help me remember I have planted the seeds, raised them in a Christian home, lived an example of following Him, and allowed them to see me turn to Him in times of praise, prayer, and honest crying out. God isn't finished with me yet, and He certainly isn't finished with my children. I'm not finished being their mother either.

Thank you, Lord, for my wise and loving husband - with whom I pray.

For bloggers who do giveaways

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November 29

November 29, 2011 - My sweet mama went to be with Jesus today. She is the woman who cared for me in ways too numerous to list. She taught me The Lord's Prayer when I was 3, my multiplication tables through 10 when I was 3, and how to create in the kitchen with abandon and no fear at an age too early for me to remember. She was a gourmet cook and could have written so many cookbooks. She grew up on a farm in eastern North Carolina, left to complete business school in Miami, started nursing school in Richmond - never lost her love of learning about medicine, and worked for the US Department of the Treasury before marrying my dad and creating a home and family. She was a fashion maven - ahead of her time and addicted to shoes. She had been an athlete, sent in her picture to play Scarlet O'Hara, and learned Spanish living in the culture. She had me rather late as those things go - already 41 when I was born. She had lost her first born, a son, and I was the last attempt at another boy. Born to a family with two older sisters, they chose to name me after the brother who had passed and after my mother. Though I was never fond of the version of my mother's name bestowed upon me, I carry that name now with great pride. My mother was the quintessential charming lady, a young heart and an old soul, and she had the softest hands I have ever touched in my entire life. I will miss you, Mama; dance with Jesus until I see you again. I love you!

A Great Christmas Read

Something we all should read -

B-L-E-S-S-E-D

Because he
Loves me with a ferocity
Every woman deserves but
So many never feel
So many couples desire but never
Ever work to give each other
Daftly believing it just happens

In the Shadow

When in the vines of love
the tangle of emotions leading
over the railing and hanging
there is found a mystery of the weaving of lives and hearts

And there in the midst
of the rain and shadows
of the love that is hiding
in the garden where the roots in the soil
hide and toil
seeking only the nourishment of folly
and the peace of the rain falling softly

When the sun finally sets and
and the sky is filled with the hues
of your broken heart
remember...
the wind blows again

Christmas

Another Christmas has come and gone. Again the magic of Santa has filled my head and heart - I find each year there are presents under the tree that I either have no idea how they got there or that I have no idea how we afforded to get them. God always provides, but it seems like a magical presence of Santa. Once again we were blessed to have both kids home - I don't know how long it will be like that, but I know the time is dwindling. As they get older and have job responsibilities, the time home has grown smaller; I know when they have families, this time will change once more. I have relished, absolutely immersed myself in the enjoyment of their company, the sound of laughter, and the joy expressed through smiles on their faces. I do love my family! I have been overcome with heartfelt thanks that my husband has had some time off and been here to enjoy the memories made this year. It is the simple ability to provide and the time to be together that has made this Christmas so wonderful - the gift of love surrounding our table and sitting together in each room. I am so thankful, and I know it all only possible through the greatest gift - the Christmas gift - and I feel so undeserving. Another Christmas has come and gone, and there is a joy I feel through the memories made that will linger as the magic for me this year.