Thursday, March 15, 2012

How many lies have you believed today? Lying really bothers me. I hate it, honestly, and I do consider it evil. So how many lies have you believed today?

I read my devotion this morning and immediately turned to my husband and told him how convicted I felt. I mean to my soul. I went from reading about mothering young children and wondering what I could possibly get from that at this stage of life to feeling 100% guilty. I had failed. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I've read it, prayed it, repeated it, and here I was feeling like a failure in it. Had I raised God-following adults? I felt I hadn't. I felt I hadn't prayed the right prayers. My children are not where I want them to be in their relationship with the Lord. I was a rule follower. I dealt with children who lived the "Disney dad syndrome" so I thought that when they were with me, I had to provide the stability and consistent structure. Now I was reading these precious words and feeling I had failed.

My husband in his kind and loving way, totally rebuked my claims of failure. He reminded me of how many times he had heard me pray, "Lord, please help me to raise _____ to be the (man or woman) You want (him or her) to be." He told me he couldn't count how many times he had heard me pray that very prayer, and I know he heard it, because as he said those words, I could finish what was coming. I know I have written it in my prayer journal. Those words along with, "Lord,, show me how to be the mother You need me to be to parent these precious children You have loaned me." My husband also reminded me that I had the blessing of leading both my children to Christ, I was able to volunteer year after year in teaching their Sunday school classes and their VBS. He reminded me of how many times we have hidden God's Word in our hearts through song, dance, and praying together. His simple reminders of the prayers I have prayed were enough to help me remember I have planted the seeds, raised them in a Christian home, lived an example of following Him, and allowed them to see me turn to Him in times of praise, prayer, and honest crying out. God isn't finished with me yet, and He certainly isn't finished with my children. I'm not finished being their mother either.

Thank you, Lord, for my wise and loving husband - with whom I pray.