I was able to spend a few days with a very dear friend last week at her friend's family beach cottage on the coast of North Carolina. It was a very spontaneous, last minute trip. Women need to be able to get away like that and need good women friends with whom they can share about anything and everything. Listening to her woes of motherhood as well as the joys she shared, I realized my own situation is not only different in terms of what is going on but very different in scale. While the differences do not make either any easier or harder with which to deal, it is reassuring to know God does not give us more than we can handle. That He is determining what can be handled is also reassuring.

It is equally amazing to me how children born of the same mother and raised in the same household with the same expectations can be so vastly different - goes back to the age old question of nurture versus nature. I was reminded of these differences not only through our conversations about our daughters but also through our walks along the beach viewing not only other mothers and daughters but also the shells chosen or discarded. While I might pick up one shell appearing quite plain colored to my friend, I would be quick to point out the intricate detail of the edge or the flecks of blue or green she had not noticed. She in turn might pick up what she thought was the perfect shell only to discard it when she noticed a crack or hole, but I might pick it up at that point realizing the hole won't be seen once it holds a votive or is glued to a picture frame with other shells overlapping it. In fact a hole may be the perfect place to put the eyeliner brush while it is sitting on my counter top. There is not one too plain or broken to use in some way.

While I can find uses for a shell some may find undesirable or beauty in something so obviously plain, I must also remember the beauty found in the process of sanctification. While mothering a teen daughter brings its instances of angst, pain, or frustration, I must remember the beauty in knowing God is still working on her. He never gives up, nor must I. She is too beautiful and being made more so by Him each day. She brings me joy and laughter too - just like finding the imperfectly perfect shell. And He will use her much like I find a use for each shell I choose. He chose us and chose me to be her mom - there is beauty in His perfect plan!